February 2011
2 posts
10 tags
i think i need more serious help with recovery...
the long conversation i had with the gf last night really hit me hard. the way i was talking, the things she said to me, the look in her eyes… she looked so scared… it’s all making me realize that i can’t beat this alone.
i need help.
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EDNOS Feelings →
trophyeyesx:
skinnysaskia:
this is scary true
EDNOS feelings
1. one day you’re eating 200 calories, and the next day you hit 2000 or more. 2. you feel like you don’t have a “real eating disorder.” 3. you try and tell people about your tortured food feelings, and they look at your healthy BMI and say: “mmm…yeah..well it can’t be that bad can it?” 4. you go through a lot of crap, and still end...
January 2011
2 posts
1 tag
This sounds like a blunt question, but do you have...
i have an eating disorder qualified as EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). it means i have a lot of tendencies and cannot be classified as one specific eating disorder. in my case my tendencies are usually anorexia, bulimia, and over exercise.
ask away, lovelies <3
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Um, being thinner does not necessarily mean that...
well having an eating disorder is a lot more than that actually. it’s about control. it’s a mental disease. it’s not something i can just turn on and off. i know that it won’t necessarily make me happier but unfortunately i can’t just turn that part of my brain off. it’s part of my disease. unless you’ve dealt with it, i don’t think you’d...
October 2010
24 posts
6 tags
i'm afraid...
i’m afraid that i’m fucking this semester up on purpose so that i don’t have to graduate and enter the real world because i’m not ready for all of that.
i’m afraid that i’m never going to recover from this eating disorder. i’m afraid that all my life the numbers are going to haunt me. i’m afraid i’ll never be healthy.
i’m afraid to...
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sometimes i dont know if i can do this
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Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?
– Hero Heroine by Boys Like Girls
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My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you...
– All Around Me by Flyleaf
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i’ve lost two pounds. i’m not quite sure how this happened as i’ve been eating more with trying to recover. i mean i’m not going to complain or anything. but it’s weird.
i feel like the scale is tricking me though. like it’s trying to lull me into a false sense of security. it wants to make me think that i can be normal, that i can eat and be healthy and lose...
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thehorrorgirl:
Its so funny how just half a pound more on the scale can change my mood from happy to depressed. So lame.
Word. It sucks.
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okay okay okay
i need to do my paper. i need to tell the numbers and the depression and the laziness and the weakness and the tiredness and the numbers and the soreness and the sadness and the numbers to SHUT UP and GO AWAY because i have a paper to write and i absolutely cannot and will not fail college.
rawr.
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When you love someone and they break your heart,...
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Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can’t always see the pain...
– (via fourthescape)
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cross the line if you have ever been so displeased...
happychoice-deactivated20101109 asked: Hey checkout my e.d. recovery page :) you should join we bite back, i'm on there and its a great support forum :)
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recovery...
the lady is trying recovery. it really kind of inspired me to try too. i hate being this way. i hate counting every calorie of every bite i take. i hate that the idea of a meal with friends enduces panic attacks. i hate that if i gain a tenth of a pound i burst into tears and spend hours in front of a mirror trying to figure out where the fat developed. i hate the constant stream of voices telling...
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Reblog if you're gonna wear purple on the 20th in...
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Reblog if this describes you word for word →
anything2bthin:
“Shes the kind of girl who tries to keep a fake smile planted on her face. The one where she fights to be happy, but sometimes, she will give in. She tries to make people happy. Even when shes miserable. But sometimes, she just can’t take it anymore. She can’t take the crying, the fighting, the…
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September 2010
28 posts
3 tags
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fasting. 100hrs minimum. yay!
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There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling...
– The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver (via jaxyann)
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i'm relatively sure that during my birthday week...
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dedngonenmovinon-deactivated201 asked: Aw...don't give up! But do what makes you feel great :)
Me, I'm good thanks :)
Me, I'm good thanks :)
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you have 5 days to live. what do you do with your...
spend it with those i love
ask away, lovelies <3
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What's your favorite season? Why?
FALL. I love the feeling in the air, the colors of the leaves, the slight chilliness, wearing sweaters and Uggs, Pumpkin Spiced Lattes, Halloween, my birthday, the start of school. I love it all!
ask away, lovelies <3
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What makes you sad?
a lot of things =/
ask away, lovelies <3
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Recovery can’t be something you dip your toe into. For it to be fully felt and...
– edb (via littlemissnic) Unfortunate but true. :/ (via skirtingtheline)