we've all got a little crazy in us

i’m afraid…

i’m afraid that i’m fucking this semester up on purpose so that i don’t have to graduate and enter the real world because i’m not ready for all of that.

i’m afraid that i’m never going to recover from this eating disorder. i’m afraid that all my life the numbers are going to haunt me. i’m afraid i’ll never be healthy.

i’m afraid to recover. i’m afraid of getting fat. i’ve already gained SO MUCH weight and it justr keeps piling on.

i’m afraid of being alone. i’m afraid of being around people.

i’m afraid one day she won’t be around anymore (in the physical sense). i’m afraid one day she won’t be around anymore (withy regards to there being an ”us”).

i’m afraid of failing. i’m afraid of letting myself down. i’m afraid of letting my mother down. i’m afraid of letting her down.

i’m afraid of what people think of me. i’m afraid that no one really likes me at all.

i’m afraid of giving in. i’m afraid of not giving in.

i’m afraid of living. i’m afraid of dying.